Wednesday, January 27

How I Feel?

This post by Christian and Lily's Mom does an excellent job of describing my feelings about Drew and his hearing loss. I think I do "have it together" most of the time, but there are always occassions when the reality of Drew's deafness, and how it will affect his entire life hits me like a ton of bricks.

It's not-so-much the silent time during bath, or the inability to communicate well during the night that worry or upset me, because we've become so used to handling those situations. Drew is becoming excellent at lip reading, and between that and gestures, he does well understanding what we are telling or saying to him.

But the fact that he is deaf will impact him in many, many ways. Not just in the classroom, where he'll likely miss pertinent information that could affect his progress. But how will his deafness impact his friendships? If he is at sixth grade camp, sleeping, and can't hear all of the boys sneaking out in the middle of the night to torment the girls cabin, not that they should, but they are boys who are going to do mischievous things, he'll miss out on that. Tiny little events that bond friends together. I know it is silly, I know it is irrational. But life with a hearing child was taken away from us. Drew is deaf. And sometimes that is just hard to accept.


Christian and Lily's Mommy said...

It's funny you mentioned the sneaking out in the middle of the night moment....I always think of him in a similiar situation (only in his college dorm). You're right. Life with a hearing child was taken away from us.

leah said...

Sometimes the "forever-ness" of it hits me right in the gut, but at unpredictable times. Some days it is just tough!

Carmen said...

We are ALL different, there will things that most boys will do and he won't and other won't either, and there will other things that he will do and many others won't have the opportunity to do. I enjoy what I have, what Luca has, the privileges we have, the wonderful people we've met because of Luca's hearing loss. I do miss things too being a non native English speaker, but I embrace who I am and enjoy what I CAN do, some things, most others CAN'T do. The important thing is that he is happy person, and of course he will have those days, but who hasn't had those days because of other reasons, like for example being shy...I've had many of those hard days as a kid, but that is the whole process of growing, maturing and becoming an adult. Go Drew! you will have a wonderful life, your parents will make sure of that!


I know what you mean. When my husband shows his love for me be getting up in the middle of the night with one of our other children because I'm in the living room with the baby, I always feel a little sad for William and his future wife. I know this seems insignificant but it's always something I really appreciate.

I also worry about that boys getting up in the middle of the night to torment someone - what if it's to torment him and he can't hear it coming?

(not to add to your worries - I'm sure you've thought of it before)

Don't you find it's harder to let Drew go do the things that you wouldn't give a second thought to allowing a hearing child do?

Tom's mum said...

I know exactly what you mean, I think it's something that other people find hard to understand because they look at Tom and see a very articulate 5 year old who is like any other 5 year old. For me thought I sometime get hit by that wave of sadness or grief.

susannah said...

amen. funny, too, how (for me) it comes out of nowhere sometimes- that grief rises up and the forever of it strikes.

Samrin said...

I feel that disability has no limits. At least there is some solution to this kind of disability. We should be thankful to God for everything. And I feel that more than me God takes care of my kids. I have two kids with profound hearing loss. One is using cochlear implant and doing great with it other one is in the process of getting it.