Bathroom Conversations

Last Saturday afternoon, as we were house bound together, Drew said some fabulous words, "I need go potty!"

Drew's Dad sprang to his feet, immediately grabbed Drew and carried him upstairs to the potty. Drew's Sister was right behind them, proclaiming, "Drew, I will show you how to do it. That's what big sister's do!"

I remained seated. Seriously, Drew is a crazy boy, and I will be lucky if he is potty trained by the time he is three years old and starts preschool. I have no delusions about that, and I knew this time wasn't going to be any different.

Drew's Dad sat Drew on his little potty, and Drew's Sister climbed on her "big girl potty" and they both began to do their business, which for Drew meant playing with himself. I mean, he is a boy after all, and that is what boys do best. (This is where the story gets a little PG-13, so I will try to do my best.) As Drew's Dad tells the story, Drew began to play with himself so much that "it" became, um..., erect.

Drew immediately got a concerned look on his face, and then glancing up at his Dad questioned, "What's that? What's that? What's that?," over and over.

I can only imagine the look on my husbands face, and as he hurriedly tried to come up with an answer to his two year old son's question. "Drew, that is your wiener!"

"Weeeee-nah. Weeeee-nah?" Drew continued, pointing at it with his index finger. "Weeeeee-nah!"

I of course, was still sitting in the living room as this was unfolding, when I hear my name being shouted urgently from upstairs. I sprang to my feet, wondering what on Earth needed my attention so quickly. As I approached the bathroom door I heard, "Weeeee-nah!" I opened the door to find Drew's Dad sitting on the edge of the tub, Drew's Sister sitting on the big girl potty, and Drew, sitting on his little potty, pointing to his penis, saying "Weeeee-nah?"

I could not help but laugh. My little boy, with an erection sitting on his potty, calling it a wiener, over and over. (I feel a bit like Jodi in this post.)

"You called?," I asked my husband.

"Yes," Drew's Dad replied. "He asked me what that is, and I told him it was his wiener. I'm now thinking that isn't the best thing to call it."

"Um, no," I said. "I don't think wiener is good. How about we call it what it is? His penis?"

"Okay," Drew's Dad said, turning his attention back to Drew. "Drew, that is your penis. Can you say penis?"

Drew looked at his Dad for a minute. Then began to touch himself again. "Weeee-nuhhhh!," he proclaimed.

I think this crazy boy is going to be hard to potty train...and raise!