Thursday, December 14

Jingle Bells

My husband and I took Drew and his big sister to visit Santa Claus this week. There are daily reminders that Drew can not hear, and a trip to see Santa Claus would prove no different.

The week-day line to visit Santa was short, which was a blessing, since Drew had just pooped and his big sister was still a little upset from a minor fall earlier. Both of our children warmed right up to Santa, which was surprising since there were children all around us crying at the mere sight of him. They both looked so cute in their holiday outfits, with Santa's arms wrapped tightly around them. One of the elves was ready to take their picture, but Drew was not looking at the camera. He was looking up at all of the Christmas lights hanging from the ceiling in the mall. The elf paused for a moment, then looked under a table. He pulled out a sting of jingle bells, and then began to ring them vigorously in hopes of getting Drew's attention. But Drew's eyes stayed gazed on the lights in the distance. I began to cry as the photographer took the picture.

I think that I have been doing well emotionally with Drew's deafness. I know he is deaf, but sometimes I am not thinking about it and I have tried not to dwell on it. Then something will happen in the world around me and I am reminded again that he can not hear. Sometimes those moments catch me by surprise and are upsetting. It is these little moments, where I am suddenly reminded that he can not hear the beautiful sounds of the world around us, that make me cry. But then I daydream about the future, and I think about him hearing all of the beautiful sounds of the Christmas season this time next year and I thank God that I live in a world where my son can be given the gift of hearing. What a beautiful gift it will be for me when he hears Santa's elf ringing the jingle bells this time next year.

1 comment:

Melissa K. said...

We went through the same thing 2wks ago when we took Thomas (8mths severe-profound hearing loss bilateral)and his older brother, Jonathan (hearing), to see Santa. Jonathan was looking at the camera and Thomas was not. The photographer pulled out the bells but Thomas still would not look. Fighting back tears, I told the guy to just take the picture.
Thomas received his aids in July and he shows very minimal signs that he hears us. He had his cat scan this past wednesday, dr. app on the 2nd and "hopefully" the surgery will be sometime in March or April for the CI.
I know exactly what you are going through. Although Thomas did go through genetic testing and there were no mutations or abnormalities (that the test showed, I was told that there are many "things" that the test wont detect). I still wonder every day why this happened to him. But on the other hand I thank God that there are options out there (like aids and ci's) so that one day (soon) Thomas will be able to hear and enjoy the sounds of everyday life.
Mom to Thomas (severe-profound bilaterally) and Jonathan, hearing